


four teacups

by astronomically, deplore



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22795735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astronomically/pseuds/astronomically, https://archiveofourown.org/users/deplore/pseuds/deplore
Summary: Dimitri, Felix, Ingrid, and Sylvain get dim sum.Sylvain always has to order the off-the-blackboard specialty dishes for the group, because Ingrid gets so excited to eat that she ends up ordering more than they originally decided on, Dimitri’s linguistic skills are even worse than Sylvain’s, and Felix has refused to order at Chinese restaurants ever since he suffered two weeks of ribbing from Glenn over mispronouncing xiaolongbao. He’s so used to the task that he always opens the same way: by plastering on his most pleasant smile and saying, “I am so sorry in advance for what I’m about to do to every member of the Chinese language group.”
Comments: 6
Kudos: 93





	four teacups

**Author's Note:**

> Art by [Nat](http://twitter.com/nartfarts). Fault attributed to [Nat](http://twitter.com/nartfarts). Originally posted on my [Dreamwidth](https://deplore.dreamwidth.org). Warning: Felix commits a food crime but I will decline to comment on it further.

Sylvain always has to order the off-the-blackboard specialty dishes for the group, because Ingrid gets so excited to eat that she ends up ordering more than they originally decided on, Dimitri’s linguistic skills are even worse than Sylvain’s, and Felix has refused to order at Chinese restaurants ever since he suffered two weeks of ribbing from Glenn over mispronouncing xiaolongbao. He’s so used to the task that he always opens the same way: by plastering on his most pleasant smile and saying, “I am so sorry in advance for what I’m about to do to every member of the Chinese language group.”

It takes a few rounds of the server and Sylvain repeating the menu back at each other until they come to a mutual understanding over what Sylvain thought he was ordering and what the server is actually going to put in as their order. Then one of the rest of them will quietly and politely hand over the paper menu with the rest of their choices circled or crossed out while Sylvain slumps back in his seat and sighs deeply.

“Someday one of you is going to have to order instead,” Sylvain says. “What are you guys going to do if I can’t make it to a dim sum Sunday?”

“Reschedule for the next weekend,” Dimitri replies.

Sylvain laughs weakly and says, “That’s so sweet. I mean, as long as I ignore the circumstances surrounding your answer, that’s incredibly sweet.”  
  
  


Felix pours them all cups of oolong tea and says, “Or we could invite Glenn instead. He actually speaks the language, after all. We don’t really _need_ Sylvain.”

“Don’t _you_ actually speak the language too, Felix?” Sylvain retorts. “And you’re just too embarrassed to use it in front of us in case we have a repeat of the infamous soup dumplings incide – ”

“The only thing I remember about the soup dumplings incident,” Felix cuts in, “is that Dimitri almost had to go to the hospital after he – ”

“– how did you pronounce it again? Glenn said that the white boy in you really leapt out – ”

“– scalding hot. Speaking of which, keep going and I’ll pour the rest of this tea directly onto your crotch – ”

“Guys, you are really making this a terrible eating environment,” Ingrid interjects firmly. “I’m going to have to ask the two of you to stop.”

Felix and Sylvain both shut up. For a few unusual moments, their entire table is quiet.

Then Dimitri says, with all the excitement of a small child who still believes in Santa Claus on Christmas Eve: “I can’t wait for the chicken feet to show up.”

“We know, Dimitri,” Ingrid replies patiently, because Dimitri says something similar every single time they get together for dim sum. It is his favorite dish by far, purely on account of the fact that he can barely taste anything and therefore he deeply appreciates foods with interesting textures.

The first dishes to show up, though, are the spring rolls and rice rolls; the former are Felix’s pick while the latter is a joint favorite between Ingrid and Sylvain. Shortly thereafter, a plate of stuffed eggplant is delivered and Felix says, “I ordered that,” before anybody can ask if they got some other table’s food on accident – it isn’t one of their staple choices.

“Hmm, stuffed eggplant,” Sylvain says contemplatively. “Felix, is this a metaphor of sorts? Dimitri, what do you think? Could this be an unconscious message that Felix wants his eggplant to be – ”

“I’ll kill you both with just this pair of chopsticks,” Felix cuts in.

Dimitri doesn’t say anything, but the look in his eyes clearly communicates: _I didn’t do anything, though?_ Ingrid sighs sharply. “Can we try to have at least one meal a year where nobody says anything that will the rest of us lose our appetites?” she asks pleadingly.

“No way,” Felix says.

“Not likely,” Sylvain answers simultaneously.

“Probably not, no,” Dimitri replies at the same time. Then he adds: “But it wouldn’t be the same otherwise, I think.”

“Get that heartwarming friendship bullshit out of this conversation,” Felix replies, “and pass me the sugar.”

Seven dishes and a special order of a half duck later, three of them sit sluggishly at their booth and exchange mildly catatonic glances as their designated dessert choice shows up: a double order of egg tarts. Ingrid, on the other hand, sits up and says, “Can I have one of the extras?”

“Knock yourself out,” Sylvain replies, answering on behalf of the rest of them. “Hell, eat mine too, while you’re at it. Otherwise, I’m just gonna take it back home anyway.”

“You should eat it while it’s still warm,” Ingrid says, frowning slightly.

Dimitri and Felix exchange a glance to silently affirm to each other that Ingrid _definitely_ picked up that exact phrasing from Glenn. “I think the rest of us are full already,” Dimitri finally replies. “Ingrid, go ahead and eat as much as you can. It’s fine, really – better to have you enjoy them fully now than for us to enjoy them halfheartedly later.”

“Well, if you guys are sure,” Ingrid says. She then proceeds to eat all six egg tarts and let out a contented sigh afterwards.

“Amazing. Just amazing,” Sylvain murmurs.  
  
  


Out of consideration to their relative budgets, Dimitri, Felix, and Sylvain each pay for 30% of the bill while Ingrid pays for 10%, an arrangement that only works because they’ve known each other for so long that they’ve long since passed the need to argue over who’s paying for what and act more like a household that pools their money together and pays out of their communal funds. Sylvain then adds a very generous tip on top of that: “This is my way of apologizing for butchering the language,” he once explained, to which Felix replied, “So basically, these are war reparations, I see.”

As they pile into Dimitri’s car, Ingrid asks, “Does anybody want to get bubble tea? I could sure go for a sweet drink after all that food!”

“Oh, what the hell,” Felix replies, sighing as he buckles in. “Sure, let’s go get bubble tea.”


End file.
